Monday, September 28, 2009

Reading for this

Black History Month

I'll be there supporting this with Willesden Green Writers' Group, on Friday at 8 pm, reading a bit of one of my stories that touches on immigration. It's a self-contained part of "The End", which is the first story in All Those Endearing Young Charms. (And yes - before you ask - the last story is called "The Beginning").

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

more bloggy bits from facebook

of course laughably feeble against the divine, as a gnat's breath to a hurricane, but i honestly think i'd like to punch our so-called lord right in the mush

you can go down to Ladbrokes now and place a bet that some horrible fate will now befall me. don't click "like" or the thunderbolt might veer your way. may i just say this: amen. that makes it into a good sort of film scene, the unexpected punch that floors the villainous deity and dusting my hands as i walk off the unseen cliff, i say it. amen. it's only a form of "over" "roger" "wilco" to let the boss know you've finished transmitting anyway. any standups out there need a scriptwriter, any devils in need of idle hands? more to the point anybody nearby with some double-cream? i will get out of this by making his lordship laugh. who can do that? whoever can make god laugh will be spared. maybe.

i was sitting waiting for sam mendes to appear last night and everybody in the cinema was talking. it sounded like, y'know, gabble gabble gabble, sort of nice but unintelligible. then i thought this is how we sound to god. and then i thought if i concentrate i can hear it saying words, the crowd, unwittingly making words and if i'd had a notepad i could have written a crowd poem because they were saying things. yeh. things. things like counterpane and linear and i can't remember the rest now.

did you want to know about the film (Away We Go), a review? i doubt that very much. but why stop for a mote with camels bounding by?

firstly, may i say i clapped the man like a hero, i wanted to stand up and shout and whistle when he came on stage. i cannot understand the feebleness of the crowd's response to his arrival. they are not clueless, they were film fans - damn them for an etiolated shower of blasé deadbeats. here is a local hero par excellence. i cannot tell you how much i loved "revolutionary road" and anybody who can secure the affections of kate winslet should be made king as far as i'm concerned.

he said the film was made as a refreshing change from two years of richard yeatsian gloom on r.r. to be fair, it has a few funny moments - i did get a good few laughs and belly laughs out of it, though i was highly resistant for reasons i will explain. when it was funny it was burst out laughing funny. sam said it didn't have a standard structure and put that forward as a virtue and it is really a series of episodes with titles in between, such that it could have very well been a TV mini-series. i'm afraid i found it mawkish, however, and i hated the bloke whom i guessed we were supposed to find lovable. he's a sort of forrest gump child man aged 33 going on 14. p.i.t.a. revolutionary road is about 1,000 times better than this film. and this is still a good film. it did make me laugh and drew a bit of a tear (secretly) and even made my tummy collywobbly, but i can't get past the single distressing fact that i absolutely hated that guy. everybody else was great but i just couldn't stand being in his company. if that's eggers - as it appears it is - i'm very sorry but no thank you very much. tess is a good judge, she always likes a good film and she thought it was rubbish.

i still think sam mendes is great and will return with more like american beauty and revolutionary road in the future. and clap you indolent swine who were there. friends of mine, if you were there, you were the only ones clapping enough (i'm sure.)

Monday, September 14, 2009

Away We Go - Official Trailer - HD


Off to see this tonight with Tess. Looking forward to hearing from Sam Mendes before it starts - should set it up nicely. He's going to speak before this special screening at The Tricycle. I don't usually go in for this sort of blogging but I've changed my mind now (past caring).

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

I didn't know the bike was there

I am standing beside a road which is empty on this side but on the other side there is a line of cars facing me, waiting in a jam. Suddenly a very small but high-powered black car darts out and speeds past the stationary traffic on the wrong side of the road. This is very dangerous. I turn around as it passes me by and see it speed across a junction, still on the wrong side, and straight into a cyclist coming the other way. The car has stopped on top of the now invisible bike. I think I must phone 999 and call an ambulance. As well as horror at what has just happened, there is a small feeling of righteousness about being the one to call the emergency services. I think to myself that before I turned around and saw it, that bike must already have been there. It was moving as slowly as the car was fast, peacefully making its way in the middle of its own lane. Yet before I turned round, I had no idea the bike was there.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

How not to think

"thinking is unnecessary. just work, eat, drink, sleep, excrete, repeat, not necessarily in that order. all thought is redundant because it cannot be but what blather o reilly to horse me charger killiraggert snortdorgel"

we know before we think. it has been proven experimentally anyway, but just (er) think about it. there is no need for the time-consuming thought. all can be at light speed as long as we don't think. this is the reason for beginner's luck, for example. as soon as they interpose the delayed and faulty thought, having "learned" how to play, players lose their beginner's luck. it is a one-time only gift. usually.

whatever you think you thought, you already thought before you thought you thought. how can it be otherwise. if i can stop thinking i can fly at light speed through where thought plods and get outside the earth's gravitation (so to speak, and speaking is even more redundant, especially on the internet where we are all trees falling in forests with nobody around except other trees who are falling themselves and so do not make good listeners.

(anyway listening is pointless as well. you cannot listen to what you have not already heard. listening is a form of thinking and so should be eliminated. (but elimination of thought and listening is pointless, because nature eliminates them by making them pointless and redundant, in other words they are self-eliminating. therefore to try and eliminate them is itself further redundancy piled on the initial redundancy. (whether you think or not is immaterial. (so you thought? so what? i thought and that was a nanosecond i'll never see again.

(but seeing - now that's a waste of pixels (which are themselves dismal ineffectual redundant representations of entities that preexisted the pixels (entities like trees that do not waste their time thinking (feverish thinking (a disease of the mind (before thought was the same animal, the bald ape (adam and eve, like laurel and hardy, "two heads without a single thought".

it's just a hop across a slippery stepping stone to genesis and adam and eve eating from the tree of knowledge, which is where all our troubles supposedly originated, otherwise we'd have been coasting along on beginners' luck, millions (billions) of us fololoping around in pristine ignorance, always landing the rolled up scroll in the waste paper bin first time and having comprehended the universe just by or at the same time as opening our eyes.